The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
