I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
