My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
