HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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