Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think my mom watched the whole time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
