Buhtt sex?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
