I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
