She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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