Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
