we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
