I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
