i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
