Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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