Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
