Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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