Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
