Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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