So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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