I don't think brook has ever known best
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
