Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize