dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
