Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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