when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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