dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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