Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it because I queefed?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
