Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
