just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
