I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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