Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have demons in me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
