As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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