walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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