i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
