Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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