i don't like sucking hair
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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