Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Of course I have a pirate flag
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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