Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
