he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
