i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
