K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
