Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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