I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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