He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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