I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
