I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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