He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
