Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
