Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
