forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
