you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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