I want to stick my p in your. b.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
