i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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