just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
