I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I still have a little drunk in my system
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
