There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We need to get me chipped asap
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
