she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
