But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
