Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
