Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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