cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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