I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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