I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
