did you get engaged???
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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