she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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