NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize